Are you Ignoring Mr. Amazing for Mr. Wrong?

By
AB3

July 15, 2019

We’ve all been there. You meet someone you like, and next thing you know, you’re smitten. While on the outside you play it cool, on the inside you’re falling hard and hoping he somehow reciprocates to validate your feelings. To compound the situation, another guy enters the picture, professing his love to you and giving you everything you thought you wanted, but you’re too hung up on the first guy to notice. Even though the second guy is everything you’ve asked for, you keep him on the backburner, holding out for the first guy. Tired of the games, guy #2 leaves, and then so does guy #1 as he just couldn’t commit to you. You lost both of them. So what did you do wrong?

HE SAID

There’s an old Russian proverb that says “if you hunt two rabbits at the same time, you will end up with none.” If you are someone who seems to have no difficulty getting dates, but can never find the “right” one, you may be passing up great opportunities without even realizing it.

Many girls and guys are programmed to always be on the chase. When someone seems to give us their attention and affection without having to work for it, we take it easy with them. Instead, we often pursue the one that turns their backs on us and makes us chase them, thinking that real love is something that needs to be conquered. The one who deserves our affection however, gets put on the backburner since we take them for granted.

Let’s be clear here: if you keep up this behavior you’ll always turn away the people that are good for you, and then complain to your friends about “why can’t I ever find a nice guy?”. Love and relationships should be as effortless as possible. This isn’t to say they don’t require effort, but the best relationships I’ve had have been with the people that have been upfront in pursuing me and recognizing my value, as opposed to the ones where I’ve had to convince or negotiate with them to like me in return.

Next time you have a great guy vying for you I encourage you to stop going on a fault-finding mission to justify why he’s not good enough for you. You may notice that you’re myopically discarding him for silly reasons, but counter-intuitively are overlooking much larger issues with the guy who is playing hard to get. Act like an electron and follow the path of least resistance.

SHE SAID

Love and relationships should be as effortless as possible. This isn’t to say they don’t require effort, but the best relationships I’ve had have been with the people that have been upfront in pursuing me and recognizing my value, as opposed to the ones where I’ve had to convince or negotiate with them to like me in return.

I know this is easier said than done. Just know we have been there. We have all fallen in love with someone who wasn’t ready to receive our love. So what do you do when your heart is still hurting but you have met someone new and amazing?

Here are some simple rules to consider:

Take it slow. It’s ok to say your heart is fragile and to go easy on you. The right guy will respect that and take his time to get to know you.
Take some time for self-care. Don’t rush into something new without taking the time to feel what you just went through. Remember you will keep getting yourself into the same situation until you learn the lesson.
Open your heart. Sometimes Mr. Amazing will show up when you are still hurting to help take care of you and support you on your journey. Pay attention to great guys like this – they have come into your life for a reason.

We hope this article helps empower you to reset your mindset to stop wasting your time on guys or girls who don’t deserve your attention and to spend some time to appreciate when a good person comes into your life. Remember it’s your time to have the love of your life.