How To Lose A Guy After the FIRST Date
Push too hard, too soon, and it’s game over.
If you really want a new relationship, stop hitting the fast forward button after the first date. Too often we see girls go on one date and become overly clingy. And for you guys reading this, yes you’re guilty of the same thing sometimes! Why does this happen? We call it “romanticizing the past,” – where you start treating this complete stranger like your last long term boyfriend, even though you might have only met them for one coffee date.
We get it. You love the feeling of “being in love” and having someone there for you to share in life’s daily experiences. But the reason why that feels so good is because you have to work for it. Being in a healthy, happy, relationship is like winning a prize that you worked really hard for.
Here is a true story that happened to me:
I was on a blind date with a girl who had been in a relationship for six years. She had just re-entered the dating world and I was her second date. Upon meeting, I could tell she wasn’t my type –she had peach fuzz over her lip, was wearing running shoes, unflattering jeans, and a windbreaker. She had clearly forgotten how to get ready for a date. While we got along well and her personality was fun, she was too much of a tomboy for my liking.
We eventually said our goodbyes, and decided we would be in touch. End of date. Or so I thought. I had not even made it to my car in the parking garage when she called me on my cellphone, asking me if I had a good time. She wanted to carry on the conversation and asked if she could text me sometime. I had not even started my car at this point when she started now texting me, asking if I was on the same page with her and if I liked her enough to see her again. Twenty text messages later, I just had to stop answering so I could pull out of my parking spot. She skirted whether we should both stop dating anyone else and become exclusive. This barrage of texts carried on for about two weeks before she finally gave up, realizing I was not going to see her again. All of this after having met for a one hour coffee date.
What did she do wrong? She was trying to fast forward to a full-fledged relationship. In other words – she had become too clingy, too soon.
Ladies, don’t do what she did. She had met someone she liked, and was trying to propel a quick meet and greet date into a relationship so she could skip all of the courting, the getting to know and feeling out process, and arrive at the day-to-day comfort of a relationship that was to the level of where she left her last one. If you ever want to push a guy away, this is the perfect way to do it because you will appear clingy and borderline crazy.
Dating can be daunting. Most girls hate the thought of having to date a bunch of guys to replace a lost love. But trust me when I tell you that pushing too hard at the beginning will just push the guy away. You can’t force feeling comfortable with someone, or make a routine with someone you barely know. To avoid this my advice to you all is to let the guy lead! It’s good to communicate but don’t force things. Let the new guy lead the dance by being proactive in asking you out. If you show too much gusto it can completely turn the guy off since it seems like you’re desperate. You also risk meeting a guy who will take advantage of you and leave you when he’s done. Above all, be patient. Starting over always sucks, but if you give it time, the new relationship will almost always be worth the wait.
And one more thing: don’t forget to look good! You are back on the market so it’s time to doll yourself up. Wax, make-up, perfume, and the basics that show a guy you care about your appearance, go a long way.
Practice makes perfect! #DateGreat
